Recently I purchased a new Fitbit watch. Similar in size to my old watch, I assumed that it worked in
essentially the same way. Aesthetically, the new watch had been updated from a utilitarian sports
watch to a beautiful gold case with an attractive digital face. What I didn’t expect is that the software
and operating features had evolved even more. I began by charging up my new watch, but that is
where the easy part ended!
This new watch no longer had a side button to scroll through the various functions. I discovered that
the new touch screen allowed me to scroll through all sorts of information that far exceeded the
capabilities of my old watch in a confusing array of colors, tiny words, icons and numbers. Learning to
use this new watch was not going to be a quick two-minute study. Instead, it would take some time
and effort!
With a sigh I turned to my computer to download the User’s Manual. Some easy to follow directions
guided me to pair the new watch with my cellphone. But then I realized that there were 67 pages of
instructions to program and maintain my new watch! 67 pages! Not only could my tiny new watch
help me track my exercise and fitness stats, this watch could provide notifications for alarms as well as
for call, text calendar and apps on my cellphone. I just have to keep my watch within 30 feet of my
phone. My first reaction was to just shut off all these notifications, but then the possibilities created
by all these new capabilities lured me to learn more.
Relationships are much more difficult to navigate than my new watch. To begin with, people are much
more complex. And too often we mistakenly assume that other people have identical values or
function the same way we do. We react with frustration, resentment and even anger when they don’t
respond to our words, needs and actions as we expect them to react. Over time, we may get better at
predicting how they will act, but people don’t stay the same over their whole lifetime. They evolve and
grow just like watch technology evolves.
Fortunately, people can educate each other on how they function the best. When we get clear on our
boundaries and share those boundaries with other people, we provide ourselves and them with a
“User’s Manual.” Our boundaries clarify how we best manage our time and energy, how we protect
and nurture our physical bodies, and mental and emotional well-being. We can set boundaries on our
material possessions, what we choose to share and what we reserve for ourselves.
When we discover and share our own boundaries with others, when we take the time and interest to
learn about and honor other people’s boundaries, their User’s Manual, we build bridges that become
easily traveled pathways for healthy, happy and long-lasting relationships. Let’s open up those User’s
Manuals now!
Love and light,
Rev. Pam
